My life has been a rollercoaster, up until this point. All at the fault of my own. I should’ve thought twice about my decisions leading up to my mistakes, but I didn’t. I can’t revert back to the past, and change things nor should I continue to ponder about it. Yet, the memories of my past haunt me on a consistent basis.
I’m not the monster I was from before. I believe that I have changed and transformed my character of today. I just feel stuck in this phase, where I don’t know how to transition from it. I’m basically in limbo with what direction to take and the steps needed to get past it. I feel like a social recluse and I’m still uncomfortable expressing myself to my parents.
I guess this is what results from taking accountability from a traumatic, fatal mistake. I feel like I lost my social status, reputation, and overall image. At times, feeling alone all over again. Maybe I’m waiting for something to happen, when in reality I’m forcing it. I recognize that this is what being at the bottom feels like. Times have truly changed, and my life has become the domino effect. I thought I was invincible, and now I’m humbled. This is where being alone again is testing me. I’ll see where I go from now and beyond.
